There is a book that I turn to for wisdom and support when I feel myself start to struggle with something, and I inevitably find just what I need when I open it. Here is what I needed to hear tonight to get my mind clear:
“During eons of evolution, from the simplest of living forms to the most complex, there has always been the day-to-day struggle to protect oneself. In our highly evolved cooperative social structures, this survival instinct has gone through evolutionary changes. Many of us no longer lack food, water, clothing, or shelter; nore do we regularly face life-threatening physical danger. As a result, our protective energies have adapted toward defending the individual psychologically, rather than physiologically. We now experience the daily need to defend our self-concepts rather than our bodies. Our major struggles end up being with our own inner fears, insecurities, and destructive behaviour patterns, and not with outside forces. Since it’s not socially acceptable to run into the woods and hide like a deer, you hide inside. You withdraw, close down, and pull up back behind your protective shield.
When you close down and protect yourself, you are pulling a shell around the part of you that is weak. This is the part that feels it needs protection even though no physical attack is taking place. You are protecting your ego, your self-concept. Ultimately, if you protect yourself perfectly, you will never grow. All your habits and idiosyncrasies will stay the same. Life becomes stagnant when people protect their stored issues. Living like this allows for very little spontaneous joy, enthusiasm, and excitement for life. The longer you live like this, the more closed you become.
You will reach a point in your growth where you understand that if you protect yourself, you will never be free. It’s that simple. If you really want to grow, you have to do the opposite. Real spiritual growth happens when there is only one of you inside. There’s not a part that’s scared and another part that’s protecting the part that’s scared. Because there is no part of you that you’re not willing to see, the mind is no longer divided into the conscious and subconscious. There is simply you watching the dance of the psyche.
The reward for not protecting your psyche is liberation. You are free to walk through this world and put your whole being into whatever’s happening, instead of putting your whole being into your personal sensitivity.”
Michael A. Singer in the untethered soul