A Year Has Passed…

The excitement and anticipation of climbing onto an aeroplane for a weekend of new experiences with an old friend has its own unique thrill. Here, in the space between leaving and arriving, I find a moment of calm in which to begin to piece together the past few weeks. The anniversary of my mother’s death … More A Year Has Passed…

It gets harder…

This evening, strolling around our local park as my boys rode their bikes, I impulsively started singing ‘My Favourite Things’ from The Sound of Music and promptly burst into tears as a crystal-clear image appeared in my head of my mother singing that song with my siblings and I when we were children. A few … More It gets harder…

Ghosts and Dreams

Last night my dreams were full of my mother again, but they were a new sort of dream, and have thankfully returned to being gentle and comforting – perhaps my reward to returning to the blogosphere! They were too long and complicated to try and capture in full, but there were a few key scenes … More Ghosts and Dreams

Dream-time Revelations

I had what felt like an enormously important dream last night. I had been reading a book called ‘Motherless Daughters’ before going to sleep, and I was clearly trying to resolve some of the issues it raised for me, but I am grateful for the gentle way my mind went about this process.

It Goes Away

I tried to be disciplined tonight, and study my PRINCE2  (PRojects IN Controlled  Environments) foundation coursework, which I have put aside for months but am running out of time to get through before my exam. I tried to shut off distractions and find my old concentration, but while I got through two modules I haven’t retained a single … More It Goes Away

Sporting Adventures

This morning, my husband Clive and I took our two boys paddling at Danson Lake in Bexleyheath. Tristan (who will turn four in September) sat in the front of a Rocket Junior K2 to try out his new paddles from his Nanny and Gubby, and I sat behind him, watching Rhys on Clive’s lap and pondering … More Sporting Adventures


Tonight, I had barely begun to cycle up the hill in Greenwich Park when I felt my quads begin to burn. I became increasingly aware of how many parts of my body were aching from the last 48 hours of running, cycling, push-ups and crunches – my calves, quads, glutes, abs, and back. I love … More Pain

Doing Okay

There is a song called ‘Today Has Been Okay‘ by Emiliana Torrini, which on the one hand makes me think of Dirk and his loss as it speaks of the death of a lover: “Friends tell me its spring My window show the same Without you here the seasons pass me by I know you … More Doing Okay