Shattered

Broken shards of glass spread across the kitchen floor – jagged edges glistening, and tiny slivers hiding in shadows, evading my later attempts to make the tiles safe once more for tender feet (how quickly we imbue our human qualities of spite and craftiness into objects inanimate). The sound crashes into my consciousness before I … More Shattered

Echoes

Sitting at the kitchen table working on my laptop after the children’s bedtime routines had been completed and the dinner plates cleared away, I put music on to play as I always do in the evenings, whether to help me concentrate on the task at hand, or provide a soothing backdrop to more relaxing pursuits. … More Echoes

Memories from a box

We finally finished unpacking the last of our storage boxes two nights ago, after my clever husband completed the epic process of laminating, trimming, notching, sanding, joining, mounting and varnishing some beautiful Meranti bookshelves for our living room. One of the books I rediscovered is a diary of mine from 1998, when I was 15, … More Memories from a box

Friday Sorrow

It comes without warning sometimes, the intensity of missing my mother – and today it has swept in with the wind and the rain, leaving me feeling raw and exposed. I still find that the various losses in my life – whether in the distant past, those that are still fresh, or even those that … More Friday Sorrow

A Year Has Passed…

The excitement and anticipation of climbing onto an aeroplane for a weekend of new experiences with an old friend has its own unique thrill. Here, in the space between leaving and arriving, I find a moment of calm in which to begin to piece together the past few weeks. The anniversary of my mother’s death … More A Year Has Passed…

Tearless Distraction

I have been unconsciously distracting myself from the rapidly-approaching first anniversary of my mother’s death, which will arrive all too soon on May 31st. I have become busy again with many projects and plans, being productive and constructive and feeling increasingly connected to my body and the world around me, in new and surprising ways. … More Tearless Distraction

Musical Introspection

I was sitting alone in a café in Amsterdam when I first really noticed the lyrics to Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall’. The lines that initially struck me were ‘So I’ll continue to continue to pretend My life will never end’ I know that a year before these words would not have … More Musical Introspection