Morning Tears

I pulled over into a driveway, the usual busy morning traffic continuing to flow steadily past me; tears streaming, body shaken with sobs. As I heard the opening lines of Judy Collin’s “Who Knows Where the Time Goes”, all my senses were flooded with vivid flashbacks to Scotland, 2011: the texture of the grey skies … More Morning Tears

Musical Memories

When I saw there was a Baroque 2000 ensemble performance at a local Monastery on the 31st May, I knew instantly that it would be a wonderful way to spend some time communing with memories of my mother on this fourth anniversary of her death. I have such a powerful recollections of sitting with her, … More Musical Memories

Missing

There are times I miss my mother so intensely I feel destabilised. I close my eyes just to see again her familiar gestures and expressions. I am amazed how simply the fact of her existence in the world used to be such a great comfort, even when we hadn’t spoken in weeks, living continents apart. Mostly, these … More Missing

A Final Breath

She came to us from trauma: Born with HIV in her blood, Neglected; withdrawn. She didn’t know how to play With the toys placed before her. Over the months we watched her transformation – Her smile emerged, gradually, Until it would brighten any room With its mischievous spirit. As she learnt to play, To talk, … More A Final Breath

Letting Go

His words have replayed in my mind many times since they were delivered, gently and following a warm hug, this morning: “You’re a powerful woman, Laurel, and you need to reflect carefully on where you choose to put your focus.” I find myself in tears again at the feeling of loss evoked each time I … More Letting Go