5 Years Gone

How did I mark the 5th anniversary of my mother’s death? With tears, of course. And music, as I naturally do. With memories, and smiles, and more tears. With an amazingly productive day of Strategic Planning at the organisation where she once worked, and where she brought as much passion as I now bring, in her own … More 5 Years Gone

Gratitude: in the Christmas spirit

Today I’m grateful for… Finally feeling the real joy and excitement of Christmas while baking Lebküchen from my Gran’s recipe, the boys helping out in their Christmas aprons, the smell of cinnamon, cardamom, ginger and cloves filling the air, with Christmas music drifting through the house. Watching “The Little Prince” at the cinema, with my … More Gratitude: in the Christmas spirit

In Memoriam

It was inevitable that – working now at an organisation where my mother worked, even though it was many years ago – I would occasionally stumble across her name. It still made me catch my breath when I came across this message from a previous Director on our old website, while I am in the … More In Memoriam

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for… Finding a new-to-me version of a song my mother used to sing to me, and I sang to soothe my youngest back to sleep tonight after he woke from night terrors Feeling inspired by learning new ways to keep growing together as a couple, improving our communication and being increasingly empathetic … More Gratitude

Musical Memories

When I saw there was a Baroque 2000 ensemble performance at a local Monastery on the 31st May, I knew instantly that it would be a wonderful way to spend some time communing with memories of my mother on this fourth anniversary of her death. I have such a powerful recollections of sitting with her, … More Musical Memories

Sleep-drenched

My immediate consciousness upon waking was the brightness of the light and the exquisiteness of the song, just seconds before it cut – mid-lyric – to silence. I, capturer of lyrics and memories, could recall only the outline of the voice. ‘Who was that?’ I asked, not quite sure I was awake, yet aware of … More Sleep-drenched

Song of Myself (from Walt Whitman’s ‘Leaves of Grass’)

Trawling through my old poetry file, I stumbled across these deeply familiar yet long-forgotten words, which as a teenager I knew by heart: “I exist as I am, that is enough. If no other in the world be aware, I sit content. If each and all be aware, I sit content… I dote on myself; … More Song of Myself (from Walt Whitman’s ‘Leaves of Grass’)

Memories and poetry

An evening of forgoing plans in order to care for a unwell child, and instead sorting quietly through my many boxes of cards, letters, and correspondence dating back two and a half decades – line after line of appreciation, connection, joy, and love. One of the treasures that resurfaced is my old file of poetry, … More Memories and poetry

In Memoriam

(I wrote this on Thursday 13th November, scribbled on the programme for my mother-in-law’s cousin Jenny’s memorial service, while we waited for the official proceedings to begin) Each funeral, memorial or cremation now evokes for me vivid memories of previous such occasions, as well as recollections of those now dead whose formal commemorative events I … More In Memoriam