Tag: Bereavement

5 Years Gone

May 31, 2016

How did I mark the 5th anniversary of my mother’s death? With tears, of course. And music, as I naturally do. With memories, and smiles, and more tears. With an amazingly productive day of Strategic Planning at the organisation where she once worked, and where she brought as much passion as I now bring, in her own … More 5 Years Gone

Articulating Grief

March 17, 2016

Brene Brown, in her brilliant book “Rising Strong”, writes about what she calls the process of “Rumbling with Grief.” What she describes is probably the closest description of some of the things I have most struggled with in grieving, but found very hard to grasp or articulate. I was moved to share some quotes from … More Articulating Grief

In Memoriam

November 21, 2014

(I wrote this on Thursday 13th November, scribbled on the programme for my mother-in-law’s cousin Jenny’s memorial service, while we waited for the official proceedings to begin) Each funeral, memorial or cremation now evokes for me vivid memories of previous such occasions, as well as recollections of those now dead whose formal commemorative events I … More In Memoriam

Shattered

June 1, 2014

Broken shards of glass spread across the kitchen floor – jagged edges glistening, and tiny slivers hiding in shadows, evading my later attempts to make the tiles safe once more for tender feet (how quickly we imbue our human qualities of spite and craftiness into objects inanimate). The sound crashes into my consciousness before I … More Shattered

Futility

October 17, 2012

I am having one of those rare days when, out of the blue and for no obvious reason, everything seems pointless. Empty. Void of meaning or purpose. I saw an old man earlier, barely able to walk slowly up the street with the assistance of his walking stick, and I suddenly felt as though I … More Futility

A Year Has Passed…

June 18, 2012

The excitement and anticipation of climbing onto an aeroplane for a weekend of new experiences with an old friend has its own unique thrill. Here, in the space between leaving and arriving, I find a moment of calm in which to begin to piece together the past few weeks. The anniversary of my mother’s death … More A Year Has Passed…

Tearless Distraction

May 17, 2012

I have been unconsciously distracting myself from the rapidly-approaching first anniversary of my mother’s death, which will arrive all too soon on May 31st. I have become busy again with many projects and plans, being productive and constructive and feeling increasingly connected to my body and the world around me, in new and surprising ways. … More Tearless Distraction

Musical Introspection

April 25, 2012

I was sitting alone in a café in Amsterdam when I first really noticed the lyrics to Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall’. The lines that initially struck me were ‘So I’ll continue to continue to pretend My life will never end’ I know that a year before these words would not have … More Musical Introspection