Tidying up electronic files tonight, I found this raw, unedited writing from earlier this year, which I had simply entitled “Midnight Words”. *** Words, tumbling, and my tired mind wants to grasp them just before they slip away… while, simultaneously, turning them into concrete letters seems to push them further from my sleep-heavy awareness. Grasping something … More Midnight Words
My immediate consciousness upon waking was the brightness of the light and the exquisiteness of the song, just seconds before it cut – mid-lyric – to silence. I, capturer of lyrics and memories, could recall only the outline of the voice. ‘Who was that?’ I asked, not quite sure I was awake, yet aware of … More Sleep-drenched
My children love the film ‘Brave’, and were watching it today while I worked when I suddenly noticed how familiar and evocative the voice in the final song was. Upon a quick Google search, I found it was indeed Birdy, as I suspected, performing with Mumford & Sons. Though I may speak some tongue of … More Learn Me Right
It seems logical that my first post after a month away from my blog should be an update. I am still unwell and undiagnosed (more about that later), and the trip to South Africa was difficult health-wise but otherwise very positive, and full of wonderful connections and exciting visions of the future.
Hi mom, I haven’t written to you since you died, and it suddenly seemed like an important thing to do. I spend time with you in dreams, I think and talk about you all the time, but I don’t talk to you anymore. I don’t have any idea what I want to say, I just … More A Letter
The London sunshine was magnificent this morning, particularly while I was running next to the Thames from London Bridge towards Tower Bridge, with the sun’s rays reflecting off the water and the glass of the buildings all around. There is no doubt that running, writing and painting are the most positive things I can be … More Sunshine and Miracles
There are occasional, almost unbearable moments in which I feel gripped by every instant of sorrow in my life rolled into one enormous, crushing entity of hopelessness. They hit with no prior warning, and at the most inconvenient times. I express emotion through my stomach, which is clenched so tight I can barely move. Every … More Autumnal Tears
Last night my dreams were full of my mother again, but they were a new sort of dream, and have thankfully returned to being gentle and comforting – perhaps my reward to returning to the blogosphere! They were too long and complicated to try and capture in full, but there were a few key scenes … More Ghosts and Dreams
I had what felt like an enormously important dream last night. I had been reading a book called ‘Motherless Daughters’ before going to sleep, and I was clearly trying to resolve some of the issues it raised for me, but I am grateful for the gentle way my mind went about this process.