A Year Has Passed…

The excitement and anticipation of climbing onto an aeroplane for a weekend of new experiences with an old friend has its own unique thrill. Here, in the space between leaving and arriving, I find a moment of calm in which to begin to piece together the past few weeks. The anniversary of my mother’s death … More A Year Has Passed…

Facing the Shadows

My mother’s favourite author was Ursula K. Le Guin. After many years of dreaming of it, she finally wrote a letter to ‘her Ursula’, expressing how important her writing had been to her, and she received a brief – but delightful and heartfelt – reply. I stumbled across it when I was back in South Africa for … More Facing the Shadows

Dream-time Revelations

I had what felt like an enormously important dream last night. I had been reading a book called ‘Motherless Daughters’ before going to sleep, and I was clearly trying to resolve some of the issues it raised for me, but I am grateful for the gentle way my mind went about this process.

It Goes Away

I tried to be disciplined tonight, and study my PRINCE2  (PRojects IN Controlled  Environments) foundation coursework, which I have put aside for months but am running out of time to get through before my exam. I tried to shut off distractions and find my old concentration, but while I got through two modules I haven’t retained a single … More It Goes Away

Captured Conversations

I stumbled across this Skype conversation with my mother from quite a number of years ago, which I had emailed to myself to keep safe, and subsequently forgotten I still had (though I remembered the conversation itself well). I grasp at all these memories, wanting to remember her voice, her smell, and her writing, and … More Captured Conversations

Sporting Adventures

This morning, my husband Clive and I took our two boys paddling at Danson Lake in Bexleyheath. Tristan (who will turn four in September) sat in the front of a Rocket Junior K2 to try out his new paddles from his Nanny and Gubby, and I sat behind him, watching Rhys on Clive’s lap and pondering … More Sporting Adventures


Someone far from me by circumstance, but close always to both my heart and my mother’s, sent me this extract from “Adonais” by Percy Bysshe Shelley upon hearing of my mother’s death. It is beautiful and moving, so I thought I would share it.


Tonight, I had barely begun to cycle up the hill in Greenwich Park when I felt my quads begin to burn. I became increasingly aware of how many parts of my body were aching from the last 48 hours of running, cycling, push-ups and crunches – my calves, quads, glutes, abs, and back. I love … More Pain